The last time I blogged, I mentioned that I was meeting a client who already had a partner. That post triggered a stream of comments and emails, many of them asking the same accusatory question: “How do you live with yourself when you know you’re helping men cheat?”
I want to pause on that for a moment, because a question like that carries a lot of assumptions about what I do, who my clients are, and what actually happens during an escort booking. Those assumptions are often wrong, or at the very least, incomplete.
The Reality of My Clients
Firstly, many men genuinely love women and value female company, but whose lives don’t always make that easy or straightforward. Some travel constantly for work, spending days or weeks in cities where they don’t know a soul. Imagine landing in a strange city, finishing a long day of meetings, and going back to an empty hotel room night after night. For a lot of people, that’s lonely. It’s isolating.
So when these men come to London without their partners, they might not be looking for some grand betrayal. Often, they simply want to go out to dinner, share a bottle of wine, and have an intelligent, relaxed conversation with a woman they find attractive and engaging. London escorts make that possible.
When Companionship Matters More Than Sex
What many people don’t realise is that talking is what a lot of clients are actually seeking – and yes, sometimes that really is all they want. They want someone interested in what they have to say, who won’t judge them, who will listen to them talk about their day, their work, their stresses, their little triumphs. They want to feel seen.
They want to share a good meal, laugh over a joke, or enjoy a theatre show in what is arguably the world’s cultural capital. (Not everyone is lucky enough to live here and have this on their doorstep.)
For some of my clients, that kind of companionship is a rare luxury. At home, their partner might be exhausted from caring for children, overworked, or simply not interested in going out or dressing up anymore. That doesn’t make the partner a bad person, and it doesn’t make the client a monster for still wanting romance, attention, and glamour now and then. It just means there’s a gap in their life that they’re trying to fill—discreetly and, in many cases, respectfully.
When Partners Know – and Approve
It might surprise you to know that I also have a few clients whose wives or partners know about me—and genuinely don’t mind. People struggle with that idea, but relationships are far more varied and complex than we’re usually taught to believe. Not every couple fits into the one-size-fits-all model of lifelong, strictly monogamous intimacy with no room for nuance.
One of my clients is married to a woman who is frequently away on business. When she travels, she sometimes hires male escorts herself—especially for work events, formal dinners, or functions where she doesn’t want to attend alone. In their relationship, this is a mutually understood arrangement. As my client likes to say, “What’s good enough for the gander…” It might not be everyone’s idea of a perfect relationship, but it works for them. It’s honest, transparent, and based on an agreement between two adults.
The Hidden Lives of Closeted Clients
There’s another aspect that people don’t often think about: I also see clients who are gay or bisexual, men who are deeply afraid of how their families, colleagues, or employers might react if they were open about their sexuality. They live with a constant tension between who they truly are and who they feel they’re allowed to be.
For some of them, booking through expensive escort agencies provides a safe, controlled way to explore a part of themselves they feel forced to hide. Sometimes I act more like a cover story than anything else: I am the acceptable explanation for where they are, who they’re with, and what they’re doing. Their real emotional lives, their real attractions and identities, remain carefully protected from the judgment of the world around them. It’s heartbreaking that it has to be this way, but it’s also a reality. I don’t create that reality—I operate within it.
Are Escorts Really the Problem?
Now, I won’t pretend that no one I see is cheating. Yes, some men come to me specifically because they want to cross that line. They want an experience their partner either can’t or won’t provide, and they’ve already decided to seek it elsewhere long before they ever find my number. The important point is this: if a person is determined to cheat, they will find a way—escort or no escort.
So here’s the uncomfortable but necessary question: what actually causes less harm?
1. A brief, carefully contained experience with an escort—someone who understands boundaries, uses protection, and has no intention of blowing up anyone’s life?
2. Or a long-term emotional and physical affair with a colleague or close friend, one that can blur every line, become entwined with daily life, lead to lies upon lies, deep emotional entanglement, and ultimately the destruction of trust in a family?
You don’t have to like what I do. You don’t have to agree with it. But it’s worth asking whether the moral outrage is always aimed at the right target. I don’t stalk married men in supermarket aisles and force them into hotel rooms. I provide a service that exists because there is a demand for it—a demand rooted in loneliness, secrecy, unspoken desires, and all the many ways that human relationships can be complicated, imperfect, and messy.
How I Live With Myself
So when someone asks me, “How do you live with yourself?” the honest answer is: I live with myself by understanding the reality of what I do. I offer companionship, discretion, and sometimes a safer outlet for needs that might otherwise explode in far more damaging ways.
You might still disapprove—and that’s your right—but the story is a lot more nuanced than the simple label of “helping men cheat.”
